A Comedy of Surprises
by Ayla Pascal
Summary: When Lucius Malfoy turns up on her doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, Hermione knows that it's going to be a very strange week. Little does she know how strange! Lucius/Hermione/Severus


**Author Notes**: Thank you aigooism for the beta!

Hermione's eyes flew open when she heard the sharp knocking on her door. She had obviously fallen asleep on her notes again. With a grimace, she looked at her watch. It was before nine in the morning on a weekend. Who on earth would be visiting her at this time? She stood up and walked towards the door, trying to tuck stray strands of hair behind her ears as she went. It was probably a door-to-door salesperson. Just her luck. Hermione pasted a friendly expression on her face as she pulled the door open.

A giant bouquet of flowers was thrust into her face. Hermione sneezed. "Excuse me?" she managed to get out as she pushed the flowers aside. Her eyes widened as she took in who was currently standing on her veranda.

Lucius Malfoy smiled widely at her. The expression looked odd on his face, almost like a great white shark trying to look friendly. "These are for you," he said smoothly.

Hermione found herself taking the flowers. It really was a beautiful arrangement, just the kind of bouquet she would have normally loved. But these weren't exactly normal circumstances. "What are you doing here?"

Lucius ignored her question. "Aren't you going to invite me in? It's usually considered impolite to leave guests out on your doormat."

"You've done ... things that are far worse," Hermione pointed out. Lucius may have been cleared by the Wizengamot, but she still had her reservations. He may have helped them in the years since the end of the war, but that didn't wipe his slate clean of his past actions. "What do you want?"

An amused look flickered in Lucius's eyes. "I thought I could take you out for dinner."

Hermione blinked rapidly. "You're over eight hours early for that," she retorted.

Lucius didn't miss a beat. "Very well," he said smoothly. "I shall be back to pick you up at five in the afternoon."

Hermione found herself mentally spluttering. "I didn't mean it that way," she snapped. "I'm _not_ going out with you." The very idea was horrifying.

Lucius looked her up and down, from her tangled hair to her ratty old slippers. "Formal dress, of course."

Uncomfortably, Hermione wrapped her dressing gown tighter around herself. She knew she was wearing a tracksuit underneath, but she suddenly wondered if Lucius thought that she was naked. "I'm not going to get dressed up to have dinner with you."

Lucius smirked. "I'd be happy to have dinner here with you. That would be perfectly acceptable."

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "No!" she exclaimed.

Lucius turned around and began walking away down the corridor. "I'll still be here at five," he called over his shoulder. He turned the corner, and Hermione could hear the sound of his footsteps recede away.

Slowly, Hermione closed the door. That was strange, she thought. Why on earth would Lucius Malfoy ask her out? She rubbed her eyes. Surely it was all a bad dream. Of course, there were the flowers. Hermione bit her lip. The flowers were still there. With a sigh, Hermione walked over and shoved them in her rubbish bin. There was no way she was going out with Lucius even if he did turn up at five.

* * *

"I have a date with our esteemed Miss Granger," Lucius drawled. He was feeling quite pleased with himself actually. Ever since that ridiculous bet he'd made with Severus, Lucius had tried to come up with a plausible way of asking her out. He had no chance of engineering an accidental meeting at her work; there was no way he was going to get clearance for that Ministry building. From what he could see, Hermione barely managed to have a social life. She seemed to spend most of her time at work, and the rest of her time, she spent in her small house in Hogsmeade.

Lucius finally decided that the easiest way was the most direct way. There was precious little chance of either of them succeeding anyway and his seduction skills were rather rusty. The last time he'd tried to seduce Narcissa, she'd ended up divorcing him. He still wasn't sure that those two events were entirely unrelated. From what he knew of Hermione, she seemed to enjoy honesty and directness. Those two attributes didn't come easily to him, but he was definitely going to try.

Severus looked up from his pile of unmarked papers. "Congratulations."

Lucius wandered over and poured himself a glass of scotch. "How are you doing?" he enquired. "Remember that we only have two weeks for this."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he looked at the glass in Lucius's hands. "Isn't it a bit early for that?"

Lucius rolled his eyes as he sipped the scotch. "You're ignoring my question." He hadn't seen Severus leave his quarters at Hogwarts for the past few days. Unless Severus was conducting a secret love affair with Hermione via owl post, Lucius suspected that he was going to definitely win the bet. He smirked. He was going to look forward to having Severus as his personal slave for a week. They'd been having bets like this for years, ever since they were both children. Lucius had been keeping count. He was definitely ahead.

"I'm well on the way," Severus said.

"I'm sure you are," Lucius said. He put his glass down on the table, walked towards the door and turned around. "I'll see you in Hogsmeade for lunch. Usual place."

Severus nodded and turned back to his work. Lucius noticed with amusement that the rather unfortunate student had the word 'dunderhead' scrawled across the top of his paper. Obviously, some things never changed and Severus's tolerance for idiots was one of them.

* * *

Hermione was surprised when Lucius appeared on her doorstep at almost exactly five p.m. "What on earth are you doing here?" she spluttered. There were a thousand questions that came to her mind, but that question summed them all up pretty well.

Lucius waved his wand and a large box of chocolate appeared in his hands. "These are for you," he said. "I take it that you've decided that we're having dinner here?" He looked down at her very casual attire.

"I'm not having dinner with you," Hermione said flatly. "I don't know what kind of crazy scheme this is or whether you've just had too much Firewhiskey, but you're the last person I'd have dinner with. I barely know you." Hermione stopped herself before she began ranting in earnest.

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "That's a bit contradictory, don't you think? You claim to not know me, yet you definitely know you don't want to have dinner with me."

"I know about your past," Hermione retorted. "It's public knowledge. And I don't need to _know_ you to realise that I want nothing to do with you." The entire situation seemed surreal to her. Why on earth was Lucius Malfoy trying to ask her out? It wasn't as though she was as beautiful as Fleur Weasley or if she had come into a lot of money recently or anything like that. Her eyes narrowed suddenly. "You're here about my work, aren't you?"

Lucius stepped backwards, his eyes widening in shock. "Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?"

"A former Death Eater," Hermione said pointedly.

"Yet, I have done nothing except be a productive citizen for the years since the war."

"You've been living off that enormous fortune of yours." Hermione folded her arms across her chest. "Anyway, I'm not having this kind of conversation on my own doorstep. You're not here because you want to ask me out. You're here because you're some sort of corporate spy or you made some sort of insane bet or you're completely drunk." She sniffed. Lucius didn't seem to smell of alcohol. She usually had a pretty good nose for that kind of thing. Plus, his eyes didn't seem red-rimmed, and his pupils weren't dilated.

A flicker of something passed through Lucius's eyes. He spread his arms. "I'm not intoxicated. I just wanted to see you."

Hermione stared. He sounded almost earnest. She shook her head. "Nice try."

Lucius gave her a long look. "Aren't you all about giving people second chances?"

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "In the workplace and in society in general. If you applied for a job in my section, I'd treat you just like any other applicant. It doesn't mean I have to _date_ you though."

His lips twitched. "Well said, Miss Granger. But then again, you are an excellent prosecutor. I've been following your cases closely."

Hermione shivered. From his tone, it sounded almost like Lucius imagined that he knew her. "I'll be sure to keep an eye out for your job application if you should choose to apply."

To her surprise, Lucius laughed. "Is it so surprising that I would want to have dinner with you?"

"Yes," she said flatly. "Especially out of the blue like this."

Lucius took a step closer. There was sudden heat in his eyes that seemed to freeze her in place. "You've always interested me," he murmured.

Hermione could hear her heart pounding in her ears. "You haven't interested me," she managed to get out.

A brief smile crossed his face, and for an instant, he almost seemed like any other man. She could look at him and see that he was a person, not just a former Death Eater. "It's just dinner. And good conversation. Nothing more, nothing less."

Hermione had to admit that the conversation had been entertaining so far. She wouldn't go as far as to call it good conversation, but it was definitely not boring. Most of the days, she struggled to talk to her co-workers about something not work-related. Even her conversations with Ron and Harry lately had been about work. Ginny had suggested that she get a hobby, but Hermione couldn't see how she would have time to do anything. Not with her current caseload. "I don't make it a habit of mine to go out with random people who turn up at my front door."

"Tell me," Lucius said slowly. "Would you say that if I were one of your friends? Or your co-workers?"

Hermione frowned. "Yes," she snapped, but she wasn't so sure any more. Of course, nobody else had turned up at her doorstep and attempted to steamroll her into going out with him with a combination of charm and arrogance. She suspected that nobody else but Lucius Malfoy would ever try it.

"I think you're lying."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were supposed to try to charm me into this? Or seduce me or something? Not insult me."

Lucius's eyes gleamed. "Would you prefer that I seduce you?"

Hermione shook her head quickly. Somehow, the image of Lucius seducing her was a little too vivid for her comfort. "I already have dinner plans," she said. Lucius didn't need to know that they were with her television and a bowl of soup. "Please, just go away."

"How about brunch tomorrow morning then?" Lucius suggested. "Somewhere in Hogsmeade."

Hermione let out a deep breath. She should have just shut the door in his face when she realised that it was him on her doorstep. "Don't you ever give up?"

Lucius smirked. "Not when there's something I really want. Now, there's this lovely little patisserie in Hogsmeade. It just opened last month and it's rather hidden away, so I expect you wouldn't have been there yet."

Despite herself, Hermione could feel her mouth watering. Harry had gone there last week and had told her about the delicious cakes and muffins. He claimed that they had a caramel slice that just melted in the mouth. She had wanted to go there, but she had never managed to set aside enough time to go. Hermione opened her mouth to say no, but she found herself saying, "Fine."

"Excellent," Lucius said. "I'll meet you here at ten."

"I know where it is," Hermione said shortly. She couldn't believe she had agreed to this. Of course, there was a part of her that wanted to see the patisserie. She was free tomorrow morning. But Hermione suspected the biggest reason she had agreed to go was sheer curiosity. She wanted to know why Lucius was here. She didn't think that he was a corporate spy, but it was still possible. In any case, she wanted to find out what his game was. "I'll see you there."

* * *

Lucius smirked as he walked away from Hermione's front door. He could feel her puzzled gaze boring into his back so he made sure to act normally. It worked! His plan had actually worked! Mind you, he had initially expected her to just fall for his charms, but she was obviously far too intelligent for that. She had reacted when he had stepped forward though; he had seen the flicker of interest in her eyes.

What Lucius hadn't expected was his own reciprocal interest. While she wasn't unattractive, he normally didn't go for her type. And it wasn't just a blood thing either; he just usually preferred blondes. From her own history, he concluded that she tended towards redheaded idiots.

Lucius smiled wryly. He suspected that she had agreed to go on the date out of curiosity more than anything else, but it was still a start. There was no way Severus would have made so much progress. He was definitely going to win this bet. Poor Severus would never stand a chance. Not against Malfoy wit, charm and good looks!

* * *

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She knew this was a bad idea. She should have never let Lucius Malfoy manipulate her into coming for brunch. His manipulation was so transparent that she should have just slammed the door in his face. Except she didn't. She simply let herself play right into his nefarious plans, whatever they were.

She sighed and twisted the napkin in her fingers. The only good thing about the brunch so far was the food. It was quite a delicious patisserie. She had treated herself to scones and they had definitely lived up to her expectations. They were golden, buttery and simply melted in her mouth. Plus, they came with thick cream and sweet strawberry jam.

"Enjoying your scones?" Lucius enquired.

Hermione nodded as she took another bite. "They're quite lovely." She stifled a mental sigh. There was only so much small talk she could stand and they had already covered the weather. She'd much rather talk about a good book or politics or even Quidditch.

"What do you think of the new Minister?"

Hermione blinked and stared. It was almost as though Lucius had read her mind. "His policies are promising," she said cautiously. "But since he's only been in power for a few months, I'm reserving judgement."

"He's an idiot," Lucius said sharply.

Hermione could feel her blood boiling. Three guesses why Lucius found the new Minister an idiot and she didn't think she needed the last two. The man was very pro-integration with Muggles and while Hermione didn't necessarily agree with some of his other more radical ideas, she thought that one was good.

"Richards will see us dragged into Muggle wars," Lucius said. "Muggles will use our magic for their own purposes and against other Muggles."

Hermione bit her lip. There was a distinct possibility of that happening. She'd read enough Muggle and magical history to know that the best intentions sometimes went miserably wrong. "It still doesn't mean we shouldn't try," she argued. "Muggles have a lot we could learn from."

Lucius shrugged. "I'm not denying that," he said, much to her surprise. "But is the price that we pay worth it?"

"Let me guess, you don't want to lose the traditional wizarding values?"

"I don't want to see witches and wizards becoming the puppets of Muggles," Lucius said calmly.

She smiled wryly. "And of course, you would know about being a puppet of somebody stronger than you."

Lucius tilted his head and regarded her through heavily lidded eyes. "Of course."

As Hermione took another bite of her scone, she suddenly realised that she was no longer bored. Of course, she was somewhat incensed, but that was better than being bored. Plus, there were scones. Being incensed plus scones wasn't a bad combination. Damn it, Hermione suddenly thought. She'd had a flicker of attraction when he was at her door, but she'd just chalked it down to insanity. Besides, he was Lucius Malfoy. Even if she was attracted to him, it would be a purely physical thing. She could easily ignore that. Hermione bit her lip. Except, now, she was finding him intellectually stimulating as well.

Lucius smiled at her lazily almost as though he could read her mind.

Despite herself, Hermione felt her pulse speed up. She licked her lips and tried her hardest to think of something else. Anything else.

Lucius's smile widened.

* * *

Severus looked up as Lucius entered the room. "I take it your brunch with Miss Granger was successful?" he drawled.

Lucius smirked. "Extremely." He was quite pleased with himself actually. The girl might have been smart, but she was no match for a Malfoy's wit and ingenuity. He'd easily managed to realise that she was bored with small talk and from then, it was easy to steer the conversation towards something she was passionate about.

Severus simply gave him an enigmatic smile.

"How're _you_ doing?" Lucius asked as he sat down. He wasn't going to show it, of course, but inside, he was rather curious what Severus was planning to do to win the bet.

"Very well," Severus said smoothly.

Cryptic bastard, Lucius thought as he reached for a book.

* * *

Hermione could hear her stomach rumbling as she went down the stairs. She'd almost missed lunch again, for the third day in a row. It always tended to make her woozy in the afternoon, so she wrenched herself away from the case files and went down to the cafeteria. Hermione wrinkled her nose as she entered. Tuna was on the menu again.

"Excuse me," Hermione said as she stepped up to grab a bottle of pumpkin juice. The man in front of her turned around and she did a double-take. "Professor Snape?"

Severus nodded. "Miss Granger."

Hermione frowned slightly. What on earth was he doing here? The last she heard, he was still working at Hogwarts. "I'm surprised to see you here," she said as she looked over what was still left of the lunchtime menu. The salad looked rather wilted, but the pasta still looked edible.

"I'm doing consulting work with the Ministry," Severus said. "I understand that you work with the legal department."

Hermione nodded. "I've been here for a couple of years," she said.

Severus gave her a considering look. "How do you enjoy the work?"

Mentally, Hermione raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be making small talk, which was very odd. She'd always found him a lot more interesting than that. "It's fine," she said blandly. Her first day on the job, they had told her to never talk about her work.

"Very good," Severus said.

Hermione shifted on her feet. He was making her feel uncomfortable. She grabbed a container of pasta and then reached for a knife and fork. "It was nice seeing you again," she said as she paid for her food. "I hope you enjoy your work with the Ministry."

Severus gave her a brief smile. "I will, thank you."

By the time Hermione got back to her desk, she had almost forgotten the encounter. She nibbled on her pasta as she went through the latest case.

* * *

When Hermione got home, she was surprised to see a small envelope sitting on her kitchen table. Ever since she'd convinced Harry and Ron to get phones installed, she'd gotten very few owl messages. Most of her friends knew that she didn't like cleaning up after their owls. Walking over, Hermione grabbed a butter knife to open the letter. She pulled the note out.

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Enjoyed the brunch. I'll be at your place for dinner tomorrow night at 7 pm._

_-Lucius_

It oozed arrogance and confidence. The owl that had delivered it – and she knew it was an owl from the unpleasant droppings left on her table – hadn't even bothered to stick around for a return message. "Well, I don't need to be here at seven," Hermione muttered to herself as she hunted for a rag to clean up the table. She really needed to stop leaving the window open for owls. Invariably, they always came in and made a mess of her furniture.

* * *

"Oh crap!" Hermione exclaimed as she almost dropped her morning coffee. It was sometimes the only thing that kept her awake in the mornings and she couldn't stand it if she accidentally spilt any. Most of her co-workers couldn't understand how she could drink the stuff; she supposed it was yet another one of those Muggle idiosyncrasies she had.

"Here you go."

Hermione took the proffered napkin gratefully. She wiped the few drops that had landed on her sleeve. "Thank you," she said as she looked up. Her eyes widened.

Severus inclined his head at her and then walked away. She stared at the back of his head as he disappeared into the crowd. It was only once she couldn't see him anymore that she realised that he also was carrying a cup of coffee. She had no idea that he drank it as well. After all, this place was the only wizarding establishment that carried coffee and she'd never seen him here before.

Hermione shook her head slightly. There was no point thinking about it. It was just a coincidence that she bumped into him twice in two days. Nothing more.

* * *

Hermione somehow wasn't surprised when Severus Snape managed to turn up at her supermarket that evening. After bumping into him at the Ministry cafeteria and at the coffee shop, she was almost expecting it. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that he was following her, but that was ridiculous. There was no reason for him to follow her. Maybe he was spying on her, Hermione thought. She did have access to sensitive materials and he did enquire after her work. That was unlikely, but possible.

"Miss Granger," Severus said cordially as he inclined his head in her general direction.

Hermione stared. He was also being strangely polite. "Nice to see you again," she said as she pushed her trolley past him. She hesitated. "Do you live in this area?"

Severus's upper lip curled slightly before smoothing out. He gave her a brittle smile. "No, but I heard that the groceries here are exceptional."

Hermione snorted. "They're pretty average," she said. "I think you need a better excuse."

There was a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Perhaps I do," he agreed.

"So what are you doing here?" Hermione asked after a pause. She was rather curious now. Odd things seemed to have been happening to her in the past week. First, Lucius Malfoy turned up at her door acting as though he was completely drunk and now Severus seemed to be following her around. She frowned. Odds were those events weren't completely unrelated.

"Shopping."

Hermione pointed at his empty basket. "No, you're not."

With surprising force, Severus plonked an orange in his basket. "I'm shopping."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I wish you luck in your shopping. Although, you might find that oranges taste better when you don't bruise them like that." With that, she pushed her trolley away from Severus. Behind her, she heard something that could have been a laugh or a groan.

* * *

"May I sit down?"

Even without looking up, Hermione realised who it was. "Are you following me?" she muttered as she moved her bag onto the floor.

Severus slid into the chair opposite her. "Of course not," he said smoothly. "I just wanted to talk to you about work."

Hermione pressed her lips together. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe he was a spy. "What about work?"

To her surprise, Severus looked almost embarrassed. "I need to ask your help," he said stiffly. "I'm in a delicate situation and I require legal representation."

She stared at him. "So you were following me!"

Severus looked unrepentant. "Can you help me?" His tone was sharp.

Hermione fiddled with her napkin. There was something fishy about the entire situation. She wanted to say no, but she knew that the only way for her to get to the bottom of it all would be to play along. "Perhaps," she said. "You do understand that I only take on certain types of cases and most of my work is directly related to Ministry practices."

Severus gave her a thin smile. "Don't worry, Miss Granger. I'm sure you can handle my case."

"Meet me at my apartment tonight," Hermione said. She scribbled her address down on a piece of paper and handed it to him. "Eight o'clock." Lucius had invited himself along to her apartment at seven, but that didn't matter. In fact, he made her feel uncomfortable so having Severus there might be beneficial.

Severus nodded.

* * *

Hermione wasn't sure what possessed her to follow Severus as he left the Ministry that day. She hadn't planned to follow him. It was just that she saw him walking down the steps and she was about to say hello, when she changed her mind. After all, he all but admitted that he had been following her around for the past few days. It was time he got a little taste of his own medicine. Plus, she wanted to know what he was up to and whether it was anything to do with how oddly Lucius had been acting recently. In fact, Hermione had been wondering whether she ought to ring St Mungo's to commit Lucius. He was acting very strangely and he kept on looking as though he wanted to say something, but then closing his mouth again. Perhaps he was going insane.

Hermione hurried along the street, careful to keep a couple of metres distance between herself and Severus. Any closer and he would be bound to spot her. He was walking rather rapidly, barely looking around him; Hermione suspected that if he had, then he would have noticed her following him.

She watched as he rounded a corner and sat down in a cafe. Obviously he was meeting somebody, but who? She ducked into a bookshop and grabbed a book. Holding it up, Hermione pretended to read it while looking out the window at the cafe.

A few minutes later, a tall man sat down next to Severus. Hermione's eyes widened as the man turned his head. It was Lucius Malfoy!

So there obviously was something going on. Hermione put her book down and left the bookshop. She sidled past the cafe where Severus and Lucius were obviously engrossed in conversation. She strained her ears as she passed and managed to catch two words.

Hermione. Bet.

Hermione gasped. She quickly stepped into an alleyway and hoped that neither of them had heard her.

So, it was a bet, was it? She had a feeling that it had to be something like that. There had to be a reason why both Lucius and Severus would both suddenly express an interest in her within one week. Her lips twitched as she remembered the ridiculous bouquet of flowers that Lucius had given her. He'd either been very lucky in his guesses, or he had actually researched her favourite flowers. She'd been baffled for a while at the odd way that Severus seemed to turn up at her coffee shop in the morning, in the Ministry cafeteria at lunch and in the supermarket in the evening. Obviously, it was all part of the bet.

As Hermione made her way back down to the street, she realised that she had a so-called date with both Lucius and Severus that evening. With a little tweak, she could make both of them happen at the same time and place. She tapped her fingers against her leg. Neither of them were unattractive men. In fact, if she ignored their histories, they were both exceedingly attractive.

A huge grin spread over Hermione's face. She was going to make them regret that they ever made that little bet about her.

* * *

Lucius arrived just as somebody else was lifting their hand to knock on Hermione's door. "Excuse me?" he demanded as the person turned around. Lucius's eyes widened as he took in who it was. "Severus?"

Severus looked equally surprised to see him there. "What in Merlin's name are you doing here?"

"I could have asked you the same thing," Lucius said shortly. "I have a date with our lovely Miss Granger."

Severus's eyes darkened as he glanced at the door. "As do I."

Lucius pursed his lips. This was beginning to feel like a set-up. He reached over to open the door when it swung open and Hermione stepped outside. His eyes widened as he took in what she was wearing. She had on a long slinky dress that was practically a nightgown. It had lace edging that emphasised her breasts. "Good evening," Lucius said his mouth suddenly dry.

"What are we both doing here?" Severus asked bluntly.

Lucius glanced over. It was obvious to him that Severus was equally taken in by what Hermione was wearing but was deciding not to show it.

Hermione smiled sweetly. "I could ask both of you the same question." She turned to Severus. "I'm guessing you don't really need that legal help."

Lucius raised an eyebrow and looked over at Severus. Legal help? So that was Severus's plan. Ingenious, except for the fact that he was positive Hermione Granger would never sleep with a client. Apparently she was given an extra helping of those annoying Gryffindor morals. He couldn't find a single smudge on her public records.

"And you," Hermione said turning to Lucius. Her eyes flashed. "You made me have brunch with you. I thought you needed help! I was going to turn you into St Mungo's."

"Excuse me?" Lucius asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione snorted. "Oh, I didn't for one minute believe that you'd ask a Muggle-born out on a date. It had to be something else. I just didn't envisage it being something as childish as a bet. You two are worse than Harry and Ron."

Out of the corner of his eye, Lucius could see Severus blanch. Obviously he didn't enjoy being compared to those two dunderheads. Lucius turned to Hermione and gave her his best superior look. "People can change."

"People, maybe," Hermione agreed. "But not you two."

Lucius coughed.

"Well," Severus said as he leaned over and prodded Lucius in the shoulder. "I suppose we'd better be going then."

Lucius sighed. "Very well," he muttered. "I guess it's a tie this time. Let's pick an easier wager next time round." This had turned out to be far more complicated than he had originally imagined and he didn't much enjoy having the tables turned on him.

"Wait a minute," Hermione interrupted. "It's not a tie."

Lucius stared. There was a look on her face that would have made the most devious Slytherin proud. He looked over at Severus who had a look of foreboding on his face. "It's a tie."

"Neither of you won," Hermione said. A small smirk played around her lips. "Neither of you managed to get me to date you."

Severus coughed.

"That wasn't the deal," Lucius murmured.

Hermione stared at him. A look of understanding began to dawn on her face. "Wait," she spluttered. "You made a bet to _sleep_ with me? What are you guys? Fifteen years old?"

Lucius had to concede that point. It was a rather juvenile idea, but they'd come up with it when they were both drunk about a month ago. "Well, we'll be getting out of your hair now," he said smoothly.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Not so fast," she said. "As I said, it wasn't a tie. More accurately, I would say that I won."

Lucius inhaled sharply as he watched Hermione walk over. There was an odd expression in her eyes as she leaned over him and kissed him lightly. His eyes widened. As she pulled back slightly, he saw her open her eyes slightly. To his surprise, she looked like she was aroused. "You did make a bet to sleep with me," she murmured.

Lucius nodded slowly. "I suppose I did," he said.

Hermione turned her head to look over at Severus. "As did you. Now what was this bet for? If you did... manage to sleep with me, what's in it for you?"

Severus coughed. "He would be my personal slave for a week."

Hermione blinked rapidly. "That sounds like a ridiculous idea."

Severus's upper lip curled. "That isn't your place to judge."

Hermione stared at him. "You think?" she snapped. "You two brought me into this twisted little game of yours. I think I have the right to ask all the questions I want." She walked over to where Severus was sitting, reached over and ran a finger down the side of his face. "Of course, perhaps I want to do more than ask questions."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. He had found her quite interesting when they had brunch together, and the original intention of the bet was to sleep with her, but he was still rather surprised. "Quite devious of you, Hermione."

Hermione smirked. "I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fun."

* * *

Hermione gasped as she felt Lucius's fingers slide into her. She could feel Severus's cock pressed against her back as he kissed the back of her neck. "I'm guessing this wasn't in your plans when you came up with that bet," she murmured.

It definitely wasn't in her plans when she had invited them both in this evening. She'd had a general idea of exacting some sort of revenge on them, but she certainly hadn't intended on sleeping with either of them, let alone both of them. She had always found Severus interesting, and she did find herself attracted to Lucius when they had brunch together. Still, she couldn't have predicted the turn of events.

"Shut up," Severus said into her hair.

"Yes," Lucius agreed as he rubbed his finger over her clit. Hermione squirmed against him as she thrust her hips forward. "Shut up."

Hermione complied. There'd be plenty of time for talking later. Now, she was going to enjoy the fruits of winning the bet.

-fin


End file.
